I Must Be Cruel Only To Be Kind

Rereading my old students’ message, last night, tore me up. Ya, they knew me so well as a cruel teacher that often swing their mood badly.

I tried to remember things turned me to be that cruel teacher. they were actually reactions  for those behaviors, nondisciplinary, not submitting assignments, coming late to my class, etc.

I might be their cruelest teacher, but if only they knew that was just an automatic reaction of my care and love, that i was a kind teacher who really wanted my students be good.

I must be cruel only to be kind _Hamlet, Shakespeare_

-WRITING PROJECT PURA2-

 

Reading this kind of blog http://zhizhisiregar.tumblr.com/ reminds me to myself that just gone away.

I really missed it, missed that stupidity, that lameness, that naiveness, that artificiallity, that honesty, that cute stuffs called ego. Ahh! that stuffs which actually succeeded making me happy, living in what everybody called imagination. I missing my old imagination, missing it like crazy.

Life going ordinary to me, don’t know how to make it wow again like before. I know this is stupid. Ok! i’m stupid. Foget it then… Hi routine, i love yoU!

happy birthday Aku

Dulu setiap tanggal segini, bangun tidur langsung antusias lihat HP and found there were dozens of birthday messages received, wowww, tapi itu dulu. Sekarang? Boro-boro dozens, satu aja syukur alhamdulillah. (haha, ada satu, alhamdulillah).

Jangan tanya kenapa, karena gw sendiri sebenernya gak mau ambil pusing juga sih. Bangun tidur gw bahkan gak kepikiran sama sekali buat ngecek sms ucapan selamat ultah, yang ada di pikiran gw cuman, dapur dan sumur. Gila ya? Routine, yang dulu sempat gw benci, tapi sekarang mulai gw nikmati. Betapa waktu merubah gw begitu banyak, tua.

Sampai akhirnya pukul 8 pagi, dapet BM dari seorang sahabat yang ternyata masih inget hari ini hari gw lahir ke dunia.

Sebenernya masuk-masuk bulan Oktober, suami ada sih sebut-sebut mau ngasih hadiah apaan showed me do’i inget hari ulang tahun gw. Tapi ya gitu emang, selalu begitu emang, pas hari H, lupa! Tapi swear gw gak ambil pusing, sama sekali nggak. Buat gw, hari ulang tahun adalah sama saja dengan hari-hari biasa. Sama-sama  gitu-gitu aja (loh?)

Tapi why don’t make it a lil different, dengan membuat birthday wishes, huhuyyy. Semoga Allah menjadikannya nyata, atau menggantikannya dengan yang lebih baik, aamiin ya Allah.

Here they are

  1. Kuliah lagi, di luar negeri. Agak takut menoreh mimpi macam ini, tidak seperti dulu, rasanya mimpi ini begitu sulit, begitu rumit, begitu mimpi. Tapi, ya Allah, apa sih yang nggak mungkin dengan keyakinanku padaMU. Master of Education will be.
  2. Being a Lecturer. Hemm, teaching is everything for me, remembering my dream to teach how to teach. Dan begitulah, gw di sini, mengajar, tapi belum mengajar bagaimana cara mengajar, insyaallah soon 🙂
  3. Makkah Madinah. Gw baru mulai mengakrabi mimpi ke sana sejak menikah. Dulu ke mana aja? entah ke mana. Suamilah yang telah merajut mimpi itu lebih awal. Gw mulai terinspirasi dengan cerita-cerita tentang negeri impiannya itu. Aku ingin segera ke sana ya Robb.
  4. English Course for Kids. On my way, on process, on…
  5. Novel, novel? iya novel. Show someone that i do not only read novels but also produce and publish. (yeach)

Sebenernya mimpi gw ya itu-itu aja dari dulu juga, hehe. Tapi gpp lah ya, fokus fokus fokus!

A Crowded Mind’s Confession

I have noticed that it sounds silly to write again and again that I’m gonna do such a OneDayOnePost Project. I guess no no I’m very sure about this, that I will never ever complete that kind of project, NEVER!

Anyway, let’s just get to the previous projects?

Story Telling Projects, I wish that I could be a daily story teller who had a heart to upload the record of my story telling everyday on this blog. It was just a dream since I was a very lazy story teller. I was so lazy to read the story loudly, to record it again and again, to edit it, and ahhh. I always wish that I could just skip that activities, all I wanna see is the posts are already on my blog and be useful for the readers. (does anybody read this blog? :P)

Another project was Cooking Record Projects. I survived with only two posts, and no more else. I guess you can guess why, exactly, ya, I was a lazy cook. I wish I could just skip the boring cooking phase. And taraa… The cooking posts were already on my blog. Cool!

And the other one is Movie Project. I wrote 2 of my favorit movies, Dead Poet’s Society and Lord of the Ring. I could not keep on track because… Again, I was a lazy movie lover. I loved watching, and I loved talking about movies, or being in a movie discussion, telling everybody about my favorit movies, gossiping the artists, and so on and so on. But I was that kind of person who didn’t know how to write out my mind when I was so so enthusiastic with something. And movie is one of my enthusiasm maker.

What else? You know I should’ve been shy for this, but who knows, this confession could bring betterment for myself.

Hemmm  to be honest, I know the only explanation why this could happen to me is what I wrote again and again above, my laziness. Yap! As a writer wanna be, I always wish that I was not too lazy like this. I wish that I could write daily, I wish and I wish. But why??

Why “why again”? You know ling… you know it so well. You know the solution, you know it so well. Then how this confession brings a solution? A betterment? Let’s see…

-ling gegea gaga lalau selalula lagilagilagila-

Raki… 1 Tahun 2 Bulan 15 Hari

“Udah bisa apa?”

Apa ya? huhu, mungkin yang gampaangnya, dijawab dengan udah bisa jalan, udah bisa lari, nggak bisa diam, aktif. Begitukah?

Aktif, pasti, tapi Raki tipe anak yang kebanyakan mikir, jadi aktifnya tertata banget, kecuali bagian numpah-numpahin, jatuh-jatuhin, lempar-lemparin.

Nggak bisa diam? Bisa, kalau lagi nonton iklan, makan, dan ngebongkar-bongkar sesuatu.

Lari? Ahahaha

Jalan? Uhuk, alhamdulillah udah bisa dikit-dikit, semter dua meter. Tapi as i wrote before, anakku ini orangnya semacam banyak perhitungan banget. jadi jalannya masih takut-takut, belum lancar banget. Masih merasa nyaman dengan gaya merambat, dan belum penasaran buat berlari.

So, kalau ditanya, anakku udah bisa apa?

Raki, lagi bantuin Papa cari batu Akik, di halaman belakang.

Raki udah bisa membeo, yang kadang bikin kita amazed banget. Misal, ada anak-anak tetangga main bola di rumah, teriak-teriak gooooool, dia akan membunyi dengan bunyi yang persis gol. Kalau Papa teriak-teriak panggil oom tetangga dengan panggilan “Bro!!”, Raki juga ikut teriak teriak dengan “Booooooo”. Kalau Mama ngoceh-ngoceh, dia ikut-ikut membunyi. Bunyi-bunyiannya juga udah luar biasa.

Ulang Tahun Pertama, diajak Main Pasir di Pantai.

Semua dipanggil Mama, Papa juga dipanggilnya Mama. Udah bisa respon ocehan Mama dan Papa, dengan ocehan abstraknya, suka’ deh!.

Raki suka joged-joged kalau ada musik, dan paling suka lari ke TV kalau lagi adzan. Udah bisa juga ngikutin adzan Papa.

Oiya, Raki juga suka main-main di perut Papa, gigit-gigit sama mmmpphhettt2 gitu deh (apa coba?)

Raki udah bisa nempel-nempel stiker. Buku stiker yang Mama beliin, udah ada yang khatam ditempel-tempelin Raki. Abis nempel satu stiker, mesti tepuk tangan sambil Mama bilang Horeeeee. Untuk motorik halus Raki emang oke banget, nyusun-nyusun maenan yang RIng-Ring itu (tauk apa namanya), do’i udah bisa. Terus kalau mindahin barang dari kotak ke luar atau dari luar ke kotak, juga udah oke punya bangeeet.

Raki paling suka main tanah, pake sekop and garpu yang Mama beliin. Mama sama Papa suka biarin

Berani Kotor Itu Baik

Ah nulis tentang bocah satu ini bikin galau, kangeeeeen.

Aku suka Raki, aku sayang Raki :-*

Galau Prajab

Fix sudah, Pra Jabatan di Bengkulu, Ramadhan ini. Lega karena gak harus ke Palembang, tapi di sisi lain galau, karena jadwalnya yang ketat. Gw mau pulang-pergi rumah-balai diklat tiap hari, kuat harus kuat.

Yang bikin galau itu apa lagi sih honey?

Nggak ada galau-galau. lagian kamu, gak prajab-prajab galau, giliran udah bisa prajab di bengkulu, galau.

Masalahnya…

Nggak ada…

Sudah ayo semangat!!

Pulang-Pergi capek, buat anak tercinta gak boleh ngeluh! :-*